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My husband's previous
marriage ended in divorce, after her serial adultery, in 1997. They have
one son, born through IVF, born on Christmas Day 1992.
After their separation the house, owned in joint names, was repossessed
and sold. My husband's father broke off all contact with my husband as he
considered the divorce to have brought shame on the family.
In 2000, after limited contact with his son, the ex-wife informed my
husband she was remarrying, their son would be taking his stepfather's
name and asking for my husband's consent for the stepfather's adoption of
their son. My husband refused and she severed all contact.
I married him in August 2003, after having been together for a year.
Unfortunately, some of the financial details of this separation remained a
secret to me until my husband was being chased by the solicitors acting
for the mortgage company (due to a mortgage shortfall) and the CSA to
which he owes child maintenance.
We are now trying to negotiate a lot of debt. We are paying towards a
mortgage shortfall of which she owes half and to renegotiate child
maintenance payments on the basis of this debt, the fact that he now earns
very little money and that he hasn't seen his son for six years. On top of
that the CSA are currently asking for proof of my income! - I have found
no reason why they might be asking for this.
Life as a second wife is very hard. We try to have a 'life' but sometimes
it seems like we're working just to pay the bills. I resent his ex a lot.
I see how much he suffers from day to day, he walked out of the marriage
with literally just the clothes on his back and yet the powers that be are
still trying to suck him dry. He has a son he probably wouldn't even
recognise if he turned up on the doorstep and I have a stepson I might
never meet.
If I could go back in time would I still marry him with all this baggage.
Yes. He's my best friend and the love of my life. It's just
unfortunate that we're suffering because of his previous mistakes.
