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I am 24 and I met D when I
was just 16. At that point he had just gotten married, nothing happened
and for a number of years we were just friends and he was someone I
occasionally saw when I was on a night out. His wife was well known
as she was over 30 stone and would go out for a night out in clothes that
were dirty and smelly, she was loud and obnoxious, I stayed away from her.
I went to uni in 2000 and
when I returned at the end of the year I found out that D had split up
with A and he was living with friends. He is 12 years older than me but we
get along really well. When he split up with A she neglected to tell him
that she was pregnant, we got together and we didn't find out she had had
his child until his son was 3 months old, we were told by some friends who
came to congratulate him. D immediately got in contact with A and asked to
see his son.
He started to pay her
maintenance and at first A said that he couldn't see his boy, she stated
we would kidnap him. D was very patient and finally after a while A
allowed D access, from that day onwards we had his son from a Friday night
all through to a Sunday tea time and also one evening a week. We
also paid maintenance, paid off her debts and bought clothes, toys etc for
his son. D will do anything for his little one. We knew things with A were
not great, she started rumours about us, told people lies and just
generally threatened us and made things really difficult, but we tried to
just ignore her and get on with out lives. Six months after D left A he
filed for divorce and in 2003 we were married.
From 1997 A had been
investigated by Social Services for possible neglect, she has, in total, 5
children all by different fathers and finally in 2004 A had all of her
children taken off her for severe neglect. We had known some of what had
gone on and through the years we had made numerous reports to NSPCC and
Social Services, we had always tried to keep a close eye on things and
things had been good for a while whilst D lives with her, but once he left
things deteriorated. She has never worked and lives on benefits. Although
we knew some things that had gone on, we didn't know the half of it, what
finally came out was horrendous. The first day I heard all of the things
that happened it made me sick.
Anyway, 3 of her children
were given to her mother who got full custody of them, her eldest daughter
went to her biological father and D's little one was put into foster care.
We went through 2 years of utter hell, fighting A for custody of little
one. A did not want us to have him, at one point Social Services decided
little one would be adopted as it was thought that A would never allow
little one to live with us full time. D and I fought long and hard and
finally at the end of march this year (2006) we were granted full custody.
We were so happy.
Now though A is making
things increasingly difficult. Little one sees A twice a week on a Tuesday
and Saturday and he is now 4. She tells him that he should hate his daddy
and should love her new bloke (who at one point was investigated for
paedophilia), and he should not listen to me or his daddy and he doesn't
have to do anything we say. He is 4 the poor mite, he has spent 2 years in
foster care, he needs love, support, consistency and all she does is
destroy all the good work we do with him during the week. He is so
confused and doesn't know who he should listen to.
Social Services have closed
the case and because we fought through the courts for 2 years we have no
money left to fight her regarding visiting, she however can get legal aid
and if we stopped her contact she could take us to court and she wouldn't
pay a penny, we couldn't afford to fight her. She is not supposed to have
her new bloke at her home when she has visits with her son but he is
always there and there is nothing we can do. She is a nightmare and the
ex-wife from hell.
That is my story.
