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I met my husband 7 years ago
through a family friend. I knew he had 4 children and had just received
his decree nici. His ex wife had a problem with alcohol that caused
massive arguments in the relationship which lead to the divorce.
On us meeting my husband had
the children overnight on a Friday and for tea on a Tues and Thurs. After
a while the children met myself and my daughter, there where a few bouts
of rivalry but nothing serious and they we all started to get along. My
husband and I moved in together and he became a wonderful father to my
daughter and when his children came for tea on Tues and Thurs they always
got upset on returning them home to their mum. We felt like we where
dropping them off at the lions lair not with their mother!
We where told by the eldest,
at the time he was 10, that his mum was always drunk, house dirty with cat
and dog poo everywhere, no clean clothes and had their tea from the chippy,
at ten o'clock pm or when she woke up from being comatose on the settee.
We involved Social Services, who booked a time to go and visit. This
was ideal for her as she had plenty of notice for the visit to clean the
house, put some lippy on and act like the perfect parent.
We then arranged that it may
be best for the children to stay with us 3 nights a week instead of one.
We married 3 years later and
6 months after that I get a phone call from the eldest's school asking my
husband and I to go to school for a meeting. There we where told that his
son was very very upset, he had taken over the care of his 2 brothers and
sister and was up till 4 am the night before caring for his 7 year old
brother who had a bad toothache. This was all due to the mum being drunk
and unable to care for her children. The head of year at the school could
not believe what was going on and advised us to remove the children and
take them into our care. When we picked up the children the mum was
sitting on the settee with her pants and knickers round her knees, covered
in mud, this was at 6 o'clock - teatime! She was so drunk that she fell
over outside, went back into the house to change but couldn't manage it so
she collapsed on the chair. What a sight for her children to see!
Things progressed quickly
after that. We where awarded residency of the children and their mum
went to rehab for 6 months. She has emerged from this like nothing has
ever happened, forgetting that the children had vivid memories of their
mothers conduct, she even blamed the way she was on her childrens'
behaviour but all is alright now as it was an illness!
The children see their mum
on a Saturday night till Sunday tea time. She provides no financial help
towards the children as she's a student and is very antagonistic towards
myself, the lady who cares for her children as her own! My husband
and I have a 2 1/2 year old baby so in total we have 6 children.
We have a very happy life
all in all but I know that if someone else was caring for my children as
her own I would be grateful not hateful like she is. But at the end of the
day I feel sorry for her as she's got 5 children (one from a previous
marriage) and not one child lives with her. I couldn't live with myself if
I was in that situation.
Perhaps she dislikes me as
she feels I'm to blame, when really I'm just picking up the pieces from a
failed marriage that was none of my doing. Although I find her way
of thinking and behaving very strange, I will carry on doing my best for
all children, mine and step alike, knowing that my conscience will be
clear.
