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British Second Wives' Stories.
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(Names have been changed).
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Publishers: if you wish to publish
any of these stories, please
contact us.
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Libby's Story
Basic facts - I am 27 year old no
kids of my own. Met the man of my dreams who has 3 children 15, 7 and 6 -
all boys! He was separated at the time and now is going through the final
throws of divorce. She lives in a mortgage free house, her car is paid
for, she gets maintenance for the three children even though the 15 year
old lives permanently with us.
We see the two younger kids twice a
week plus alternate weekends. She does not work and lives in her house
(paid for by my partner) with her loser benefit fraudster boyfriend. I
work fulltime and live by the timetable she dictates.
I have met her once, she was pleasant
enough - how wrong was I!........read
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Jessie's Story
I am 24 and I met D when I was just
16. At that point he had just gotten married, nothing happened and for a
number of years we were just friends and he was someone I occasionally saw
when I was on a night out. His wife was well known as she was over 30
stone and would go out for a night out in clothes that were dirty and
smelly, she was loud and obnoxious, I stayed away from her.
I went to uni in 2000 and when I returned at the end of the year I found
out that D had split up with A and he was living with friends. He is 12
years older than me but we get along really well. When he split up with A
she neglected to tell him that she was pregnant, we got together and we
didn't find out she had had his child until his son was 3 months old........read
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Lynda's Story
I meet my present partner years ago,
before I was even married and that was 1985. He has also been married, and
she ran off with another woman three years ago, leaving three kids, one
which eventually went with her and her new partner, one who confronted his
dad and had to leave, and one who is nearly 19 and still at home. This is
the one who hates me and will move heaven and earth to make my life hell,
knowing full well he has the full support of his dad, who feels so guilty
about the split-up anyway, can do no wrong.
We do not live together yet, but have happily discussed this and marriage
in the near future. My problem is that my partner has told me that his
kids ARE his life even though I think they are not kids, but young adults
and should be put straight on a few things.
........read
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Tara's Story
I met my husband 7 years ago through
a family friend. I knew he had 4 children and had just received his decree
nici. His ex wife had a problem with alcohol that caused massive arguments
in the relationship which lead to the divorce.
On us meeting my husband had the children overnight on a Friday and for
tea on a Tues and Thurs. After a while the children met myself and my
daughter, there where a few bouts of rivalry but nothing serious and they
we all started to get along. My husband and I moved in together and he
became a wonderful father to my daughter and when his children came for
tea on Tues and Thurs they always got upset on returning them home to
their mum. We felt like we where dropping them off at the lions lair not
with their mother!........read
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Kerry's Story
I have been married to my second
husband for 3 years, we met 7 yrs ago I have 2 kids, son age 26 daughter
24, they both have houses of there own, my husband has 3 boys, 26, 24 and
19.
The eldest is very nice and has taken to me as I make his dad happy, the
middle son is a drug addict and alcoholic, he is always in prison, and
only comes to our house, when he needs money, and to cause a disturbance
with ourselves and the neighbours.
It is a nightmare, the youngest one lives with us, and he used to be a
nice lad, but when we got married he completely changed, he's rude,
completely ignores me, and my family, has no respect for me or his father........read
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Becky's Story
I was 29, single and had not
previously been married, but had been in a 7 year relationship two years
before. I moved to a new job and met my now husband, where we worked very
closely. I developed a great respect for him, but as he was (seemingly)
happily married I did not make any move toward a relationship.
A few months later and out of the blue, he told me he had very strong
feelings for me and wanted to know if I felt the same. I told him I did,
but I was not prepared to have an affair (nor did he suggest one). I told
him that if he was ever single then I would of course consider pursuing a
relationship
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Megan's Story
My partner and I have been together
for two and a half years now. We love each other very much and are very
well suited. We have a lot in common and our lives together are very
special. We got engaged last year and have just moved into a house we have
bought together. I have a 15 year old son and he has a 14 year old and an
18 year son.
We are both divorced. I have been divorced for 5 years, he for 11 years
plus. The problem is the ex wife has never really seemed to move on with
her life. She still lives in the ex marital home, which for reasons I do
not fully understand, was transferred completely into her name during the
divorce proceedings. From there she seems to spend large quantities of her
time exerting all possible forms of manipulation to prevent my partner
from moving on.......read
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Chloe's Story
I have learned there are some
occasions where you just cannot be friends with your stepchildren! After
30 years of marriage together - very happily - I am now experiencing real
hostility from my husband's son, himself in his late forties.
I asked him not to use foul language in our house, which I thought was a
reasonable request, and suddenly received a mouthful of abuse about what
he has really thought about me for 30 years. In his eyes, I have latched
on to his father and am waiting until he kicks the bucket, after which I
will apparently become the merry widow and dance off with the readies. It
seems this is all part of my master-plot from when I met his father all
those years ago, and I have spent over a quarter-century plotting how to
cheat him out of his inheritance!.......read
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Grace's Story
I have only just literally separated
from my husband whom I have known for 10 years and married to for 7 years.
Marriage ended in both physical and verbal violence but truthfully the
relationship ended 2 years ago before it actually ended 8 weeks ago. I am
finding it extremely difficult to cope with the situation.
However, I have met an ex of about 13 years ago. He has never married, but
has a 10 years partner with two kids. He has been showering me with love
and attention and I know he still loves me from our conversations. I loved
him when we were together and I know I still love him. He said he doesn't
love his present partner, but they have two kids together, one 7 and the
other 5. It's being a very rough ride for both of us, we want to get back
together........read
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Eleanor's Story
I came over from New Zealand on my
'Big OE' in June 2000. I visited Europe and then settled in Yorkshire,
where I have family, with a view to visiting Scotland and Ireland. In
August 2000 I realised money didn't go as far as I hoped and I found
employment in Yorkshire, which is where I met my now husband.
At the time, my husband had been having trouble with his partner for
months and in August 2000 he decided to go on holiday with his mate to The
USA to try and clear his head. The day he got back to work after his
holiday was the day I started work on reception. (His ex will swear that
we met in The USA while they were still together, but I have never even
been to The USA!)....read
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Abigail's Story
I could just scream sometimes with
how I feel! Like I am banging my head against a brick wall!
I met my partner 3 years ago, he had separated from his wife, had simply
fallen out of love with her, they have two boys together. I also have two
boys from a previous marriage. She is constantly texting and calling him
mostly when he is at work, which really upsets me.
She used to just walk into our home and put kids things in fridge or hang
up their coats etc, until I said no more. He is not allowed in her house
and never has been. She has been in a relationship since then, and it
broke up we think because of her need to be in touch with my partner all
the time........read
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Emma's Story
I will try to be as clear as possible
when telling my story but as many of you have probably experienced, you
can feel yourself building up to boiling point when you think too much
about the pain that has been caused. Anyway.............
I met my partner 4 years ago. I had lived alone for around 5 years and was
beginning to feel quite lonely for a real relationship. I met M through an
internet dating service: I had been dating various guys this way over the
previous couple of years and was just about to give up on it until I met
M. We hit it off straight away and I would say that the thing that struck
me about him right from the start was his sensitivity and values.......read
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Leah's Story
Well, I have read most of your
stories and have already realised although I thought my life was a
nightmare it's not actually that bad. I met my partner on holiday when I
was 15 and he was 18 and as always when the holiday came to an end so did
our friendship. However two years later we ended up getting back in touch.
In between I had a son and split with my baby's father.
By this time I was now 17 and he was 21 he told me he was single and he
was not ready for a heavy relationship yet and that was fine with me as I
did not know what I wanted to do at that time. However as the months went
on I was happy and so was he so we decided to get more involved in a full
relationship. There was one thing he was keeping from me and that was he
was still seeing he ex........read
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Millie's Story
I have been married for 6 years and
have been with my partner for eleven years in total. For the first five
years my husband had to hide from his violent alcoholic ex-partner. He has
2 wonderful boys who have been through hell and it would take years to go
through all the details. He has never turned his back on them once, much
to my selfish disappointment he has always put them first, which as we
both agreed has caused problems. His kids call me Mum and they are good to
me.
I have kept records of the ten years of abusive phone calls from the ex.
At Christmas she would insist on them staying with her but once Christmas
Day came, she would tell them to get out of her flat because she claimed
their dad had let them down and she had no money to buy them anything,
because dad was spending all of his money on his new women!........read
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Lucy's Story
Reading the other stories has been
like a revelation. I am not alone!
I have been with my partner for five
years. He had split (very recently) from his ex when we met. She would
have everyone believe that the split was my fault, and even suggested to
others we had been carrying on for years and my youngest child (then
three) was his!
She has been manipulative, nasty and spiteful beyond belief. She gets away
with it because she has two weapons - namely their children. She has
encouraged his older daughter to cut us off after her father moved some
distance away to live with me. Not our best decision, and one we reversed
3 years ago, with me moving back to his home town, but his daughter,
young, hormonal and upset, was fully supported in punishing her father........read
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Alice's Story
When I met my Husband when I was 23
years old, I had come from a single life and all of a sudden had to
consider his two boys then aged 7 and 9. I did not have a clue about
parentage and even struggled coming to grips with them. I knew my Husband
had baggage when I met him although his Ex-wife was then amicable and
wanted the best for her children. After a while for reasons which I will
not go into, and when he didn't go back to her, everything changed.
His Ex-wife was more concerned about money, so much that she did
everything in her power to stop him seeing his boys unless he gave into
her demands. He struggled emotionally with this and it put added pressure
onto our relationship because I had to be there for him.........read
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